Wednesday 17 June 2009

Struggling today

Today is a toughie. I've been hungry since I woke up this morning and it's not getting any better (it's 4pm). A trick I used last time I did this was buy Kellogg's variety packs of cereal and have a box of those at work in the morning which is about 30g. This obviously saves you from having a ridiculously large bowl but it's frankly not enough. Neither was the Tesco bar thing, the can of low fat soup or the piece of bread. I haven't got anything else with me, thank goodness and I'm not about to pillage the kitched for free bread because I'll hate myself afterwards. Why does this happen? Why is it so easy to get through one day and so hard to get through the next. I'm not very busy today so perhaps it's boredom. I'm trying to fill up on water and Diet Coke.

I recently got my shoulder-length hair cut into a chin length bob which I love. I had it trimmed last night but it seems to be a lot shorter than last time which is going to take some getting used to. As I say, I do love the cut (and so I should for £65) but I tend to hide behind my hair and feel that to carry off this sharp bob I should be a waspish 1920's flapper type as opposed to...well, me. I worry that at the wrong angle it could make my face look chubby but I'm really trying not to think about this. Part of me is worried that men may not fancy me with shorter hair, but the majority of me thinks 'good'. Frankly, after my shocking break-up experience of earlier this year, the last thing I want is to be around men. I think this may be why I've over-eaten so much this year - I have a theory that while I'm fat I can use it as an excuse as to why men don't like me and blame them for their shallowness whereas in actual fact I'm just hiding behind my rolls as a reason not to try. I am still very fragile but getting chatted up now and then would be nice for the ego and that's just not going to happen while I'm carrying extra weight.

Food for today:
Variety box of cereal
Tesco Light Choice bar
Can of low fat tuscan bean soup
Piece of plain brown bread
Stir fry veg with noodles
Activia yogurt

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